Relationships

Where is Mr Right?

God made us to love

Every woman longs for love. But perhaps you have given up looking for the man of your dreams. A past hurt, or constant frustration, may have left us thinking that love does not exist.

But love does exist. And women deserve it. To give it. To receive it.

God made us to love. He will show you the way to love, if you let him. The difficulty sometimes lies precisely in the hurt that you may have experienced at the hands of a man. Maybe you think things like ‘my body just is not good enough’, or ‘if I say no to his advances, I might lose him’, or ‘maybe men are just like that and if I am to be happy then I need to just let boys be boys’.

Such thoughts are deceptive, because they tend to make  us think that there is a kind of impossible dream that will never be realised in seeking the deep love that we yearn for.

But the opposite is the case. Love does exist, and we can attain it. We need to start by accepting our dignity, and not necessarily wanting to give ourselves to the first man that comes our way. This is what the Church calls ‘guarding the heart’. Guarding the heart does not mean cocooning ourselves behind high walls. On the contrary, it means giving ourselves the chance to take the time to allow true love to blossom. As the love song in the Bible says: “Do not arouse, do not stir up love before its own time” (Song of Songs 3,5). And that requires courage and patience.

Making it work?

Perhaps sometimes women tend to break down the emotional boundaries too easily between themselves and men. This is understandable, given our deep desire to be loved and cherished, and to give ourselves to a man. But the need to ‘guard the heart’ is so important because it allows an authentic relationship to germinate.

Women have dignity! If you let that sink in, then your relationships with men will be based on a solid foundation. If you want to be with a good man, instead of looking for the ideal man, become the ideal woman and let him look for you!

Relationships, when healthy, are beautiful. But sometimes it’s hard to know when to pull the plug, because the power of attraction can be so great. Crystalina Evert, a Catholic woman and expert in the field of healthy relationships, spells it all out clearly with the “dump him” list. It’s time to cut the cord if:

•You’ve had to tell him more than once to stop

•You feel the need to fix him

•He hits you, pushes you, or does anything to frighten you

•He doesn’t care if you lie to your family

•He puts you down (even if he says he’s “just kidding”)

•He cheats on you, lies to you, and flirts with other girls

•He uses guilt to get you to do what he wants

•He always resents time you spend with your friends and family

•He behaves badly and then blames it on other people or things that happen to him

•He can’t stand on his own two feet without you

•You can’t stand on your own two feet and remain pure without him

Mr Right, who does exist, must not be confused with Mr Perfect, who does not. Despite any setbacks and discouragement you may have suffered, keep going. With prayer and a focus on others, your natural attractiveness will rise to the surface. In God’s time, and with his help, your relationships will flourish.