The first hours

If a loved one dies at home or in a nursing home, telephone their GP. The GP, or the doctor on call, will visit and confirm the death. They issue the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD), the document you need to register.

If the death is in hospital, the bereavement office there will explain how to collect the MCCD and any belongings, and will point you towards next steps.

Telephone the parish priest as soon as you can. He can come to pray with the family, anoint the body where appropriate, and begin to plan the funeral. Even if the death was expected, the call to the priest is an early one.

Step one: register the death

By law, you must register the death at the local Register Office within five days in England and Wales. Most Register Offices ask you to telephone first to book an appointment.

Take with you:

• The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.
• The deceased person's birth certificate, marriage or civil partnership certificate, NHS medical card, and proof of address if you have them. None of these is essential, but they help the registrar fill in details.

The registrar issues two documents:

1. The death certificate. Order several copies. Banks, pension providers, and probate solicitors all want originals.
2. The certificate for burial or cremation (the green form), which the funeral director needs to proceed.

Step two: choose a funeral director

Most Catholic families work with a funeral director who knows the parish and the local Catholic cemetery or crematorium. Ask the parish priest for recommendations. The funeral director liaises with the parish, the cemetery or crematorium, and the family on practical arrangements.

Step three: agree the form of funeral with the parish priest

The Catholic Church offers two main forms of funeral:

1. Funeral Mass. The fullest form. The deceased is brought into the church the evening before or on the morning, and the Mass is offered for the repose of their soul. This is the normal Catholic funeral.
2. Funeral Liturgy outside Mass. A liturgy of the Word with prayers of commendation, used when a Mass is not possible (for example at a crematorium chapel or when the priest cannot celebrate Mass on the day chosen). Many Catholic families also celebrate a separate Memorial Mass shortly afterwards.

The priest will help you choose readings, hymns, and a homily plan. Bring photographs and stories. Funerals are pastoral as well as liturgical, and the priest will want to know the person.

Burial or cremation

The Catholic Church prefers burial of the body, in continuity with the burial of the Lord. Cremation is permitted, with one important condition: the ashes must be buried, not scattered, kept at home, or divided. Catholic cemeteries and many municipal cemeteries have areas for the burial of ashes. Speak to the funeral director about this at the first meeting and tell them clearly that the ashes will be buried.

If burial of ashes follows the cremation by some weeks, plan a short Rite of Committal at the graveside with the parish priest.

Step four: planning the day

1. Set a date with the funeral director and the parish priest.
2. Choose readings (a first reading, a psalm, a Gospel) with the priest.
3. Choose hymns and music. The parish music director is the right contact.
4. Decide who will read, who will bring up the gifts, and who will speak the eulogy. Eulogies are normally given before Mass begins or after the prayers of commendation, and are kept short.
5. Arrange flowers, the order of service, and refreshments after the funeral.

What about the cost

Funeral directors give a written estimate. Parishes do not charge a fee for the priest's ministry, but it is normal practice to make an offering, which the funeral director can pass on if you prefer. Hospital and council bereavement teams can advise on financial help if cost is a worry.

After the funeral

The Church remembers the dead at every Mass. Many families ask for the names of their loved ones to be read at Mass during November (the month of the Holy Souls), or have anniversary Masses offered each year. Speak to the parish office to arrange Mass intentions.

Bishop Davies' pastoral letter At the Hour of Our Death (29 October 2023) is a helpful read for families thinking about Catholic funeral planning ahead of time.

Practical contacts

• Parish priest (always the first call).
• Local Register Office (book within five days of the death).
• Funeral director recommended by the parish.
• Curial Offices for general questions: 0151 652 9855, info@dioceseofshrewsbury.org

A Catholic funeral is, at heart, a prayer of hope. The practical steps fall into place once the parish priest is alongside the family.