Singleness is not a waiting room

The Church has always honoured marriage, priesthood, and consecrated life as vocations. It has been less articulate about the single life. As a result, many Catholics who find themselves single, whether for a season or for life, suspect that they are simply waiting for their real life to begin. They are not. Singleness can be, and for some is, a real Christian vocation in its own right.

Bishop Mark Davies framed the lay vocation in his 2026 Pastoral Letter with words that apply directly to the single Christian.

Today, I want to join Pope Leo in inviting all considering their calling to take these steps to discover their vocation, whether this will be found in Christian Marriage; the Consecrated Life of Sisters or Brothers; the Catholic Priesthood; the service of the Diaconate; or the greatness of the lay vocation lived in the midst of the world.

Source: Vocations Pastoral Letter 2026, dioceseofshrewsbury.org.

The greatness of the lay vocation lived in the midst of the world. That is the line. It is true of married laypeople, and it is true of single laypeople. The single Christian belongs to the Church and serves the Lord with as much weight as any married couple at the altar.

Two kinds of single life

The Church recognises two distinct shapes of single life as vocations.

Consecrated singleness

Some single people make a public, recognised commitment to celibate love of Christ outside of religious community. The classical form is the Order of Virgins, an ancient order restored after Vatican II, in which a woman is consecrated by the Bishop to perpetual virginity for the sake of the Kingdom. There is also the rite of Consecrated Widowhood, and a number of secular institutes in which laypeople take private vows and live the evangelical counsels in the world while keeping their ordinary work and homes.

These are real, recognised vocations. They are rarer than marriage or religious life, and they are usually entered after years of testing with a spiritual director and the Bishop.

Lay singleness

Most single Catholics are not consecrated. They are baptised laypeople who, for one reason or another, are not married. Some are young. Some have lost a spouse. Some have remained single by circumstance. Some have made a quiet commitment to remain single for the Lord.

The Church holds lay singleness as a state of life that can carry real holiness. The single Christian has freedoms that other states of life do not. Time, mobility, and energy are not divided between spouse and children. They can be given to prayer, parish, the poor, scholarship, mission.

What scripture says

Saint Paul addresses singleness directly in 1 Corinthians 7. He neither commands it nor denigrates marriage. He argues that the single Christian can give an undivided heart to the Lord (1 Cor 7:32-35). Christ himself was unmarried. So was John the Baptist. The unmarried life of love runs through the Christian story.

The risks to name honestly

Single life has risks that need naming.

• Drift. Without the structure of spouse and children, the day can be shapeless. A rule of life, with fixed times of prayer, fixed Mass attendance, and a fixed weekly examen, is essential.
• Isolation. The Church is a family. The single Christian needs to be in the parish, not just at it. Volunteer. Eat with people. Open your home.
• Self-pity. The temptation to view singleness as a problem to be solved by another person rather than a state to be lived for the Lord.

What it can look like in Shrewsbury

A single Catholic in this Diocese has a particular set of gifts to offer. The 12 men in priestly formation will need lay friends and supporters. The Marriage and Family Life Office, with Jane Deegan and Monika Golembiewska, runs programmes that depend on lay volunteers, married and single. The schools, the chaplaincies, the parish councils, the safeguarding work, all need single people with time to give. St Joseph's, Stockport, the Diocesan Eucharistic Shrine of Perpetual Adoration, runs because hours of adoration are kept by ordinary lay Catholics, many of them single.

The Bishop has often said that decline in numbers does not change the Church's mission, only its shape. The single Christian has a part to play in that shape.

How to discern

If you are single and asking what your vocation is, hold three questions.

1. Am I open to marriage if the Lord brings the right person, and have I taken the practical steps to make that meeting possible?
2. Am I open to the priesthood, the diaconate, or consecrated life, and have I let myself look at those paths honestly?
3. Am I living the life I have now as a vocation, with a real rule of prayer, real service in the parish, real friendship, and real chastity?

If the answer to all three is yes, you are not waiting. You are already living a Christian vocation.

Your next step

• Pick a fixed time and place of prayer this week and keep it.
• Volunteer for one regular thing in your parish this month.
• If you sense a deeper call, write to your parish priest, or to the Marriage and Family Life Office at jane.deegan@dioceseofshrewsbury.org for lay support, or to vocationsdirector@dioceseofshrewsbury.org for guidance toward consecrated single life.

Your life is not on pause. The Lord is calling you now.